5 Steps to Surrender: Letting Go and Trusting the Flow of Life

At the backbone of many of the world’s religions is the act of surrender. The word itself is cunning and mysterious. The action? Freeing on the deepest levels.

The "how"? There are no clear directions—no quick fixes, no secret mantras or prayers. Why is that? There’s a cheat code for so many things, but not for surrender.

So, how does one actually let go and surrender?

Like many aspects of the healing journey, surrender is a repeated action—a practice you revisit over and over again. Like forgiveness, faith, and positive thinking, surrender is a choice you commit to and reaffirm through your actions.

What Are Some Actions That Support a Life of Surrender?

1. Connection to Your Inner Guidance/Intuition

When you build a practice of listening to yourself, noticing internal cues, and following your inner guidance, surrender becomes easier. You develop a connection with your Self, building a level of trust that allows you to feel safe, regardless of outcomes. You know you can rely on yourself, your intuition, and your capabilities to navigate any storm.

2. Unwavering Faith in the Universe/God

When you cultivate a relationship with the Universe or God and truly believe you are being guided and supported, it becomes easier to relax into the unknown and trust the future. Reflect on moments in your life when things could have gone wrong but, through a twist of fate, worked out in your favor. Recognizing these moments of divine support helps you surrender a little more each time.

3. A Regulated Nervous System

Letting go requires tuning into your energetic body. This means being aware of how you feel physically and knowing how to bring yourself back to a calm state when needed. Deep breaths, long walks, tapping—different techniques may work at different times. The act of surrendering can trigger the nervous system, especially if you’ve spent your life trying to maintain control. Practicing self-awareness and self-soothing will help surrender feel more natural over time.

4. Awareness of Sneaky Control

When you shut the main door on control, it often finds a back door, a cracked window, or another way in. Control can manifest in subtle ways, as the ego tries to protect the younger, more vulnerable parts of you from pain, disappointment, or fear. The more you attempt to surrender, the more your ego will seek ways to regain control. Recognizing these patterns gives you the power to consciously choose surrender instead.

5. Commitment to Letting Go

Surrender is hard—especially if you’ve spent a lifetime trying to protect yourself by controlling everything you could. But when you surrender to life’s divine plan, you free up an immense amount of energy in your body and mind, allowing yourself to experience peace, freedom, and joy. You won’t truly know how good surrender feels until you’ve tasted it. And once you do, that sense of peace will motivate you to keep letting go, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Like any practice, surrender requires commitment. You have to consciously choose to trust in the greater plan. You have to surrender to what’s meant to be, knowing that what is truly meant for you will always be far better than forcing something that isn’t.

As with every other part of the healing journey, it is important to honor your feelings. Sometimes, a change in direction, the natural conclusion of a relationship, or a shift in your job or career can stir up grief, sadness, insecurity, and other emotions. These feelings deserve to be acknowledged and processed by allowing yourself to fully experience them as they arise. Doing so will help you release that energy as you step into the next chapter of your story.

What people, jobs, or places have you outgrown? Where are you holding onto a past version of yourself? Trust in your destined path and step fully into the future that is meant for you. What lies ahead will always be better than what you leave behind. Cherish the memories, lessons, and experiences, and move forward with hope, excitement, and gratitude for what’s to come.